If 50 is the new 30, what's 40?

Does that mean 40 is the new 20? 30 the new 10? I'm confused. One minute we're all being told that 40 is the new 30, thanks to the likes of Madonna et al and all their vampiric avoidance of sunlight, carbs and anything remotely fun, and now we're being told 50-somethings live like 30-somethings. Probably having a better time, if anything. None of that career angst or inner turmoil about relationships and whether or not you should be freezing a few eggs for the future.

But 40 being the new 20? Purlease. Like I want to go back to being a naive, binge-drinking, diet-obsessed, angst-ridden, bad-choice-making bag of insecurity. When I can have wrinkles, sagging, food intolerances, fungal issues, hormonal civil war, more than a healthy curiosity about Tena Lady pads, and total and utter confidence annhilation thanks to encroaching middle age and being out of the workplace to child-rear for what seems like eternity.

But I've had a break. A week's holiday without the kids. The equivalent then to about 6 weeks with them, it being one of life's great oxymoron's: A Holiday With The Children.
And I needed that break. Husband has almost lost his moniker. Soon he will stop being Recovering Husband (in about four days' time) and become simply Husband again. Or, because he's starting a new job, some other title that will reflect how he copes. Bearing in mind that his default setting under stress is usually Rage, it will be interesting to see.

But anyway, I went to have some bloods done this morning - I think after the negligence with which they handled Recovering Husband's illness, they're intent on doing absolutely everything they can to and for both of us (would it be cynical here to think about shutting gates when horses have bolted?) in the form of some kind of MOT - and got chatting to the phlebotomist about this being the year in which she and I both turn the dreaded 40. Why do we dread it? It's so irrational. It's only another day. Only a zero on a birthday. Your teeth aren't suddenly going to drop out, or your hair blue rinse itself in the the night, or your clothes magically transform into polyester florals and shoes that can accommodate gout. It's still relatively young, although also the time you really do need to start thinking seriously about your health. (I know. I KNOW. I've made the appointment with the Stop Smoking Service...)
So is it because we're simply half way or more through our lives - and feeling it? Or because you know that change now is going to get harder on any level, psychologically, physically, environmentally? And that you're running out of time. If it needs changing, it needs changing soon or before you know it, you'll be middle aged and watching years pass you by like cars on a motorway while you're stuck on the hard shoulder waiting for the AA and wishing you'd remembered your Tena Ladys.

Whatever, we agreed on one thing. It is bloody horrible.