Schools - is it me or are they all mad?

I'm trying to be positive, really I am. I've done turning 40, done the longest hardest winter EVER, done the youngest starting school and the consequent who/what/where am I now thing, I've even done the plumber-induced house flood wreckage and attempted life-coaching to help with the ensuing negative thinking. I've tried really, really hard not to sweat the small stuff (despite the hormones making this a virtual impossibility) BUT...

Why is it that I seem to be among a tiny percentage of the good ol' British populace who finds school when you're a parent even more of a pain in the butt than school was when I was a child? What has happened to our schools, our sanity, our great educational prowess?

We still have the worst educational standard in virtually the whole of Europe, our teenagers leave unable to spell, read, write so that others can understand them, or do any form of mental maths but at least we can all rest safely in the knowledge that they comply to health and safety guidelines.
Like not wearing open-toed sandals in hot weather so they can't hurt their toes in the playground (or wearing them with socks, as in the case of our school). Or sitting within a five-mile radius of a peanut in case they end up in anaphylactic shock. Or stroking a dog in case they get an allergic reaction. Or playing in the snow in case they fall and the parents sue. Or playing in the sun in case they get sun stroke and parents sue. Or sitting under the wrong sort of tree. Or eating and moving at the same time. AAAARGH!

Is it me? Is it?

So why is it then, that when a school can no longer even administrate an asthma inhaler, or hand out an aspirin, or give a child a dose of their 3x a day antibiotic medicine, they can suddenly all start using a defibrillator in the case of aid to someone keeling over with a heart attack?

Now I know that we're not talking about the ER pads (Stand clear!) favoured by many a medical emergency telly prog. I know that. This is a machine that tells you exactly what needs doing and how, Holy Grail of the BHF no less. And I know that about 30% of heart attacks don't make it to hospital by the time the paramedics have arrived and loaded them up. But I do know that the rate of heart attacks in children aged 4-11 is hardly a major issue - although apparently the fatter we get the more it will be. BUT...